I have two:

-When we got news from our neighbours about a death in a family of our sub-division, my mom wanted to get some food for them, so she wanted to get some fried chicken, and since the family member who passed away was Afro-American, I said something like this to my mom, "Mom, don't buy fried chicken, because you are perpetuating the stereotype of Afro-Americans."

-Almost two years ago, I was looking for a coaxial cable in my other houses attic, so after searching box after box, I moved to a part of the attic floor where I could get a better angle of the boxes to search for, but I stepped on the soft part of the attic floor and my right leg was sticking out of the ceiling; my dad was angry as ****, so I went inside my room scared. My mom, brother, and brother-in-law were laughing quietly because of what happened.

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When I was in Jr. high, our school had a baseball pick league. I didn't know anything about baseball whatsoever, and guessed randomly ever single time. Guess who won 1st place? This guy. ^^

In high school my friend's house burned down halfway. It sucked, but we managed save his dog. The next day we were searching the house for things, when my friends brother screamed "OH NO" and took off running through the house. He came back with a bowl and said, "You forgot the turtle, now he's gonna haunt us!" I though that was really funny for some reason.

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...how could you forget the turtle!?

He was in the room with the fire and already dead before we got there. His mom is convinced the turtle actually does haunt the remodeled house though, gotta love Texas.

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When I was 14, I mowed the lawn during summer for extra cash. I guess I wasn't looking when I was mowing the lawn, but dog crap ended up flying everywhere when I mowed it. Including my mom's van. I was grounded for like a month