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You Are an Explorer - A Text Adventure - Page 2
Old 05-25-2012, 07:50 AM
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Feel anger at the fact you were fooled by the King's decoy. Oh, and have a minutes silence for Diego. Rest in pieces, brother.
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Old 05-25-2012, 02:40 PM
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What have I done!?
I've killed my brother.
NOOOOOOO**echo**
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Old 05-25-2012, 03:07 PM
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Poke the guards in the eyes.
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Last edited by letschat6; 05-26-2012 at 04:47 AM. Reason: Pink font, son!
Old 05-25-2012, 03:26 PM
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Jump out the window.
Old 05-25-2012, 09:05 PM
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snail

why

> Because you are dressed like a soldier, slip your ID card to a similarly dressed soldier to make them lose your trail
Old 05-26-2012, 12:25 AM
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> Intimidate soldiers with burnt flesh
Old 05-26-2012, 01:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Feel anger at the fact you were fooled by the King's decoy. Oh, and have a minutes silence for Diego. Rest in pieces, brother.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
What have I done!?
I've killed my brother.
NOOOOOOO**echo**
How could you fall for such an obvious trick? You idiot! Stupid! Stupid stupid stupid! You weren't very close to Diego, since you were always traveling and he always stayed at home, but he was still your brother. You loved him. And you just killed him. What have you done? You're a horrible person. You hate yourself right now. Killing your brother is worse than killing countless people with two explosive rings. You're a monster.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SRT View Post
> Because you are dressed like a soldier, slip your ID card to a similarly dressed soldier to make them lose your trail
But you took off the soldier costume outside the throne room! Poor planning on your part, really, if you had that, you could totally evade the guards with ease.

Quote:
Originally Posted by letschat6 View Post
Poke the guards in the eyes.
Well, they're wearing helmets, so... the odds of poking them in the eyes are fairly low. You should probably not do that. C'mon, think, Godot, think, you're an ambassador, you can ambassador your way right the hell out of this situation!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yokid View Post
> Intimidate soldiers with burnt flesh
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisFlow View Post
Use the soldier flesh to threaten the guards.
Well, you have a kukri, but that's not at all useful, not against these armored soldiers. You look to the other items in your inventory. An ID card won't do much either. However... you've got this BURNT SOLDIER FLESH here that you could do something with. You take it out. You boast that you cut it from the corpse of a soldier you killed back in Urbs Pacis on your way up here. You ask the soldiers what makes them think they'll have any better luck trying to detain you?

They say you have no more explosive rings and not a single trap card left.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PikMan View Post
Eat the flesh, then when they are puking, kill them ALL!
Maybe if you can't intimidate them, you can confuse and disgust them. You shove the soldier flesh into your mouth and swallow it. You expect the guards to remove their helmets and puke at the sight, but they do not. They explain that they've been trained to deal with people using cannibalization as an escape mechanism.

Speaking of vomiting, you think you're going to end up doing that. Jesus Christ why did you think eating the soldier flesh was a good idea?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lohengrin View Post
Jump out the window.
You realize your only course of action is to flee. You can't fight them, so flight is the only option. You notice the window against the wall. You back up slightly. The soldiers advance upon you. You make a break for it and leap through the window.

You are now outside, and feeling far less sick. It looks like you're officially an enemy of the city now, and you know if you don't hurry the guards will be after you. In the distance, you can see a man standing over another dead goat. You run up to him.

He turns and faces you, staring like a deer in headlights. There's a chunk of goat flesh hanging from his mouth, and even more goat flesh in his hand.

After a moment of staring, he drops the goat flesh and waves at you.

This must be The Chupacabra.


Godot
Health: Fine
Inventory (2/6): Identification | Kukri

Last edited by Marina; 05-26-2012 at 02:24 AM.
Old 05-26-2012, 02:01 AM
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>Ask him to share some goat flesh
Old 05-26-2012, 02:30 AM
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> BROFIST Chupacabra
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Old 05-26-2012, 02:57 AM
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Wave back, walk upto him and break the ice with a joke.
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Old 05-26-2012, 03:01 AM
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ask Chupacabra to join party, criminals have to stick together.
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Old 05-26-2012, 06:43 AM
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Give KUKRI to CHUPACABRA.
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Old 05-26-2012, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Wave back, walk upto him and break the ice with a joke.
You wave back to the Chupacabra, since he seems friendly enough and it's only courteous that you return the wave. You walk up to him, scanning your mind for a joke. You were never a very amusing person, you always preferred serious logic and such, but still.

You tell the Chupacabra you were in the peasant part of Urbs Pacis today and man there are some smokin' hot babes in there, ha ha!

Well, you thought it was funny. The Chupacabra is unamused. You decide to change the topic as quickly as possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yokid View Post
>Ask him to share some goat flesh
You ask the Chupacabra if he would be interested in sharing some of that goat flesh. He reaches down and tears a chunk of goat flesh from the goat corpse, and tosses it in your direction.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> BROFIST Chupacabra
As thanks, you get closer to the Chupacabra and offer a brofist. He accepts it. He is very glad that you are something like his friend now, since he doesn't have any friends because the peasants are all dead.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
ask Chupacabra to join party, criminals have to stick together.
You decide to leave out the little detail that you started the fire that killed all the peasants, and instead invite the Chupacabra to your party. He graciously accepts. Since he's a wanted man - by virtue of eating goats - and you're also a wanted man - by virtue of killing who you thought was the King - you figure it's best that the two of you team up. He thinks this arrangement is beneficial as well.

The Chupacabra has joined the party!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisFlow View Post
Give KUKRI to CHUPACABRA.
You notice the Chupacabra is unarmed and ask if he knows how to fight. He says yes, he is a relatively competent fighter. You say you're not, and hand over your kukri. You say it might be more useful in his inventory than it is in yours. He takes the kukri and thanks you for your help. Together, the two of you are going to kill the King.

You ask why he hasn't done that yet.

He tells you he needed backup. Now that all the peasants are dead, you have to be that backup.

You ask how he intends to find the King. The Chupacabra holds up a device that looks like a compass. He tells you that, if you focus on a person, get their face pictured in your mind, this compass will point to that person. He claims it was given to him by a friend a long time ago.


Godot
Health: Fine
Inventory (2/6): Identification | Chunk of Goat Flesh

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (4/6): Kukri | Magic Compass | Cup of Goat Soup | Green Lucha Libre Mask
Old 05-26-2012, 08:17 PM
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Realise you don't know what the king looks like, so compass is useless right now.
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Old 05-26-2012, 09:34 PM
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>Combine Cup of Goat Soup with Kukri
Old 05-27-2012, 12:35 AM
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> PUT ON LUCHA LIBRE MASK and SEARCH for someone to interview you
Old 05-27-2012, 06:58 AM
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⇒throw the a piece of the goat flesh into a soldiers face to make the others think hes the Chupacabra and that you can escape.
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Old 05-27-2012, 07:05 AM
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KILL the nearest LIFEGUARD
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Old 05-27-2012, 07:07 AM
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Search for someone who would know what the king looks like.
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Old 05-27-2012, 02:56 PM
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Combine kukri with identification, you don't need that amymore, you're a wanted man.
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Old 05-27-2012, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yokid View Post
>Combine Cup of Goat Soup with Kukri
First thing's first: inventory management. You both only have six spaces, and god knows how much you'll have to carry, so you decide to combine useless items to make better items.

You shove the CUP OF GOAT SOUP and the KUKRI together to get the CAPRICORN CLAYMORE. You have inadvertently crafted a LEGENDARY WEAPON.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Combine kukri Capricorn Claymore with identification, you don't need that amymore, you're a wanted man.
Since your identification doesn't mean a damn thing anymore, there's really no point in having it. You consider cutting it up with your Capricorn Claymore, but you're instead more interested in what combining it will do. You take back the sword and combine your Capricorn Claymore and ID card to get an IDENTIFIED CAPRICORN CLAYMORE.

THE CAPRICORN CLAYMORE
Level 10 Legendary Weapon
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE: Heal fully with each kill
Illegal in Urbs Pacis

Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Realise you don't know what the king looks like, so compass is useless right now.
You begin to tell the Chupacabra that you can use the Magic Compass to locate and kill the King. Unfortunately, you explain you don't know what the King looks like. You've never seen him. He always stays in the shadows, probably because he knows the Magic Compass is a thing that exists and he doesn't want to be tracked by it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisFlow View Post
Search for someone who would know what the king looks like.
You say the first task should be to locate somebody who knows what the King looks like.

The Chupacabra says you're in luck, because he knows exactly what the King looks like. He pulls out the Compass and closes his eyes, presumably focusing on the King's face. Once he opens his eyes again, you notice the compass is pointing in the direction of the castle.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SRT View Post
> PUT ON LUCHA LIBRE MASK and SEARCH for someone to interview you
You notice that LUCHA LIBRE MASK the Chupacabra is holding is the mask of the legendary SIN CARA of the small town of LAPANOZA, who stole his name from a far more successful wrestler. Still, he's kind of a legend. You ask if the Chupacabra also hails from Lapanoza. He says yes. He also ate goats there. And then all their goats died, so he went elsewhere. Now he's the hero that Urbs Pacis desperately needs.

You take the lucha libre mask from him and put it on. You now look almost exactly like SIN CARA DE LAPANOZA, except you're wearing a suit. Still, it's a convincing disguise and you bet so many people would just love to interview you. You strut around in the most Mexican fashion you can, in the direction of the castle. You are stopped by a guard. You ask if he wants to interview you.

He says no, because he can see through your terrible disguise and you are obviously AMBASSADOR GODOT.

You respond by attempting to piledrive him.

He responds by stabbing you fatally in the stomach with his pike and calling for backup.

Your health has fallen from FINE to DANGER. Better fix that fast!

You are now surrounded by armored soldiers. Even with your CAPRICORN CLAYMORE, you doubt you could take them all on. You need to rely on your wits to escape now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒throw the a piece of the goat flesh into a soldiers face to make the others think hes the Chupacabra and that you can escape.
Got it! You take the goat flesh out of your inventory and toss it into the soldier's face. You shout something about him being the Chupacabra, get him, get him! The armored soldiers all instantly attack the other soldier, killing him as you and your goat-eating companion manage to slip away from them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snail View Post
KILL the nearest LIFEGUARD
You remove the mask, hand it back to the Chupacabra, look around at your surroundings and notice a PUBLIC POOL not too far from your location. You tell the Chupacabra that the pool is the destination. With a battlecry, you raise your Capricorn Claymore and charge into battle. You swing the claymore mightly and take down the metal fence surrounding the pool. A nearby lifeguard turns to face you. You swing the claymore again, beheading the lifeguard.

Your health has gone from DANGER to FINE. Hell yeah!

The children in the pool are now weeping. Apparently they see something wrong with beheading a lifeguard with a legendary goat sword.


Godot
Health: Fine
Inventory (1/6): Capricorn Claymore

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (2/6): Magic Compass | Sin Cara de Lapanoza mask
Old 05-27-2012, 04:07 PM
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⇒Kidnap the children a request a meeting with the king or else you kill all childs!
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Old 05-27-2012, 05:33 PM
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Throw a hadouken at the kids to shut them up.
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Old 05-27-2012, 07:02 PM
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Take off your pants and emotionally scar the children for life
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Old 05-27-2012, 07:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snail View Post
Take off your pants and emotionally scar the children for life
You pass your claymore to the Chupacabra and remove your pants to flash the children. They have been both SCARRED FOR LIFE and also STUNNED.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Kidnap the children a request a meeting with the king or else you kill all childs!
You take advantage of their current paralysis to round them all up in the corner of the pool. You take back your claymore and explain to them that they are now hostages. As soon as you get your pants back on, you're going to take them all to the castle and demand a meeting with the King. If the King does not agree to your demands, you tell the children you're going to kill all of them.

They begin crying again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisFlow View Post
Throw a hadouken at the kids to shut them up.
You put your pants back on and decide they need to be shut up. If only you could cast the mighty HADOUKEN, this would be an easy feat. You think you'll settle instead for just killing one of them with your claymore to scare them into shutting up. You grab a child at random and pull her out of the pool. You toss her to the ground and raise your Capricorn Claymore into the air, preparing to bring it down on her.

You thrust the claymore downward, but you only strike solid ground. The girl is missing. You look around. There is a woman standing across the pool. Goddamn is she fast, this pool must be about Olympics-sized. To grab the girl and cross over to the other side that quickly... That's no ordinary person, that's for sure.

The woman puts the girl back into the pool and assumes a fighting stance. She has a strange weapon: a sword attached to a gauntlet she's wearing on her right arm.

Your Capricorn Claymore glows. You understand this to mean that the weapon that woman has is also one of these LEGENDARY WEAPONS.


Godot
Health: Fine
Inventory (1/6): Capricorn Claymore

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (2/6): Magic Compass | Sin Cara de Lapanoza mask

Last edited by Marina; 05-27-2012 at 07:58 PM.
Old 05-27-2012, 08:12 PM
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> Resolve this with a peaceful discussion
Old 05-27-2012, 09:07 PM
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⇒Bring it on lady,lets see how long you survive!
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Old 05-27-2012, 09:53 PM
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ask her to join party so you can assassinate King, he and his guards would be no match for 2 legendary weapons.
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Old 05-27-2012, 10:37 PM
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Do an epic disarmal move and take her weapon
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Old 05-28-2012, 01:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yokid View Post
> Resolve this with a peaceful discussion
You think perhaps you can solve this dispute without actually fighting. Surely this woman is reasonable. If she holds a legendary weapon, she can't be stupid, and any intelligent person would listen to your reasoning. You ask her where her allegiance lies. She says with the people.

You tell her that's a lovely coincidence, since you are also sided with the people now that you're an outlaw. She says you killed a lifeguard, flashed the kids, and then tried to kill one. How the hell is that being with the people?

You ponder this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
ask her to join party so you can assassinate King, he and his guards would be no match for 2 legendary weapons.
You tell her that's not the point. The point is you're trying to rebel against the King, and he's a crafty bastard, he is. You'll need more than just a legendary weapon and a goat-eater to take on the soldiers and King of Urbs Pacis. You figure she would make a good ally, so consider this a formal recruitment. She has a legendary weapon, you have a legendary weapon, so that makes two legendary weapons. The King can't win.

She declines your offer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Bring it on lady,lets see how long you survive!
Well fine, then. You have no choice! She won’t join you, so you’ll just have to defeat her. Either you win and she joins you because, obviously, defeat means friendship, or you kill her and take that legendary weapon of hers.

You assume a fighting stance with your claymore to signify you’re ready. She nods and takes a few steps back. You wonder if she’s suddenly intimidated by your sword, because it looks like she’s about to run away. And indeed she does run; not away from you, but toward you. She breaks into a dash and leaps off the edge of the pool, using the running start and her superhuman speed to proper herself across the gap made by the pool. As she descends, she swings her blade arm. You block with your claymore, but her foot swings down and she kicks you in the crotch. The momentum from flying across the goddamn pool makes her attack that much more effective. You drop your claymore and fall over in pain.

Curiously, she doesn’t take this opportunity to kill you. Of course, you won’t be so kind. Still on the ground, you grab your claymore again and swing it. She blocks it with her blade and kicks you in the face. You yell for the Chupacabra and ask him to support you. He says you’re in luck, Mister Godot, because back in Lapanoza HE WAS A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER.

Good, good, maybe he can beat the chick with the legendary weapon. He approaches her, unarmed. She places her blade arm behind her back, as if to say that she won’t use the sword in this fight. She’s honorable, you’ll give her that much. He attempts to grab her, wrestler style. She kicks at his ankles, causing him to lose his balance. She moves behind him and shoves him into the pool.

You didn’t expect him to do much anyway. Still, he gave you the opportunity to get back on your feet, ready to resume the fight. You run at her and swing your claymore downward. She spins around and swings her blade arm, colliding with your claymore. The impact knocks the claymore out of your hands and into the pool. For the first time, you notice the children are all fleeing the pool now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snail View Post
Do an epic disarmal move and take her weapon
You figure if you can catch her off-guard at least once, you can get rid of that blade, maybe even take it. Either way, you can win this if you try. If you could just reach your claymore…

You notice the Chupacabra is climbing out of the pool with your claymore. You figure distracting her is the best plan for now. You take advantage of the fact that her honor forbids her from using the blade if you engage her in hand-to-hand combat. You swing your fist at her. She steps to the side. You attempt to knock her off her feet with a kick. She leaps over your leg sweep and punches you in the face. You fall onto the ground again. You manage to grab the claymore from the Chupacabra and swing it at her right arm, attempting to sever it. Unfortunately, she notices just in time. She doesn’t have time to block, but she does move her arm. You manage to graze her slightly with the sword.

She says even if you managed to cut off her arm and take her weapon, you wouldn’t be able to use it. You ask why. She glances down at the Chupacabra, who just got out of the pool, and kicks him in the face, knocking him out cold. She says she just didn’t want him to interrupt while she removes her gauntlet. She keeps her eye on your claymore as she removes the gauntlet and tosses it onto the ground beside you. You pick it up and examine its STATS.

THE PISCES PATA
Level 12 Legendary Weapon
FIGHT FOR A CAUSE: Speed bonus and improved reflexes while defending others
Can only be wielded by the pure of heart

Now you see why she was so quick before. The bonus of the Pata kicked in because she was defending the kids. And now that the kids all fled the pool, she’s not defending them anymore. That’s why she was able to get hit with the claymore.

Clever little weapon, that one. You can’t use it since you’re sure as hell not pure of heart, but you can certainly keep it for yourself just so she can’t have it. You stash it into your inventory. Now you’ve got the upper hand: you’ve got a claymore and she’s completely unarmed.

Still, you wonder if she might be able to kick your ass even without the Pata. What to do, what to do…


Godot
Health: Caution
Inventory (2/6): Capricorn Claymore | Pisces Pata

The Chupacabra
Health: Caution/Unconscious
Inventory (2/6): Magic Compass | Sin Cara de Lapanoza mask
Old 05-28-2012, 01:38 AM
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>Combine LEGENDARY WEAPONS
Old 05-28-2012, 05:52 AM
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> Be DISARMINGLY CHARMING to win over the woman you've pissed off
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Old 05-28-2012, 05:53 AM
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Strike her down.
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Old 05-28-2012, 06:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> Be DISARMINGLY CHARMING to win over the woman you've pissed off
You take off your hat to slick back your hair. You tell the woman to calm down. You've noticed she's rather... attractive, and you are rather attractive as well. And you did just get kicked in the crotch, so you ask her if her taking care of it is in the cards at all.

She responds by kicking you in the crotch again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yokid View Post
>Combine LEGENDARY WEAPONS
Okay. Fine. If that's how she's going to play, then you'll fight back. You combine the CAPRICORN CLAYMORE and PISCES PATA to form...

Oh.

Never mind.

THE WEAPONS ARE INCOMPATIBLE!

Damn.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snail View Post
Strike her down.
You can't use the pata, but you can certainly still fight with the claymore. You hop back onto your feet and rush at her with the sword. You figure she won't be able to defend herself since she is:
1) Unarmed
2) No longer has the speed/reflex bonus.

You're wrong. She ducks under your claymore swing and comes back up with an uppercut to your jaw. As you stagger back, she swipes the Pisces Pata from your inventory and equips it. You raise your claymore to strike, and in response she headbutts you in the face, knocking you over to the ground yet again.

She claims that you've sinned enough for the Pata to consider your death just. If she kills you now, she'll still be able to wield the legendary weapon.

Meaning, she's going to kill you now. Now would be a really lovely time for some deus ex machina.


Godot
Health: Danger
Inventory (1/6): Capricorn Claymore

The Chupacabra
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Inventory (2/6): Magic Compass | Sin Cara de Lapanoza mask
Old 05-28-2012, 07:17 AM
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SURRENDER telling her she is worthy enough if an oppenant to take your life
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Old 05-28-2012, 07:21 AM
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⇒Take HER as hostage!
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Old 05-28-2012, 07:24 AM
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Gently push her off a ledge.
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Old 05-28-2012, 06:12 PM
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> Try to remember some of the basics of CQC
Old 05-28-2012, 06:54 PM
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⇒Kick her in the crouch!
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Old 05-28-2012, 09:18 PM
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↑what does that accomplish?

Ask if she really wants the king to live or die,
extend invitation again, by offering to kill self after king dies keeping her weapon clean,
if she still declines you can heel by killing Chupacabra.
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Old 05-28-2012, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Take HER as hostage!
You highly doubt you could do that. Even if you could get the upper hand against her in combat, you doubt you could take her hostage, because you know you wouldn't be in control of the situation for very long. No, you have to beat her somehow...

Quote:
Originally Posted by SRT View Post
> Try to remember some of the basics of CQC
See, the funny thing about being an ambassador is you don't know a thing about CQC. You're mostly just trying to improvise your ass off.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Kick her in the crotch!
YEAH SURE LET'S SEE HOW SHE LIKES IT

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
↑what does that accomplish?
Still hurts.

She kicks you in the face before you even get the chance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisFlow View Post
Gently push her off a ledge.
Maybe if you flail around on the ground here, you'll catch her off guard and push her into the pool. Maybe. Well, it's as good a plan as any. You use SPLASH ATTACK and start to flail around aimlessly. She takes a few steps back so she's out of your flail range. Aaaand there goes your strategy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snail View Post
SURRENDER telling her she is worthy enough if an oppenant to take your life
There's only one thing left for you to do. You surrender. You're not a worthy opponent. This was the only possible outcome. She may take your life if she so wishes.

Of course, you think your surrendering means she's bound by honor to let you go.

She tells you that your surrender is not sincere and thus you are still very killable.

God dammit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Ask if she really wants the king to live or die,
extend invitation again, by offering to kill self after king dies keeping her weapon clean,
if she still declines you can heel by killing Chupacabra.
You ask her where her allegiances really lie. She says with the people. You ask if her intent is to kill the King. She says yes.

You say you're trying to do the same thing, so it would be best to team up. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and such. She declines on the ground that you're still evil. You tell her you'll kill yourself after the job is done. She says you cannot be trusted.

Very well. Your only option is to restore your health by killing the Chupacabra and fighting her to the death aga--

She cuts off your thought process by once again kicking you in the face. As you begin to lose consciousness, you hear the sound of an explosion and the crumbling over rock. You turn your head to look toward the castle. The highest tower in the castle has been replaced with a shiny metallic... something. You can't tell what it is. Before you can work it out, you lose consciousness.


-=END OF INTERMISSION 2=-
-=-=-=BEGIN ACT III=-=-=-

Time: Still two years before Act I

You are LEO MICHELINI again. You have just released THE SHADOWLURKER and have been mystically transported out of the ruins. You are in an unfamiliar town. Judging by the sand you're standing on and the ocean behind you, this is a town built on a beach. You are standing beneath the shade of a palm tree. It's a shame you have to return to Urbs Pacis someday: you could get used to this.

You notice a large line gathered outside a circular building. There are a few people walking the streets, mostly women, but the vast majority of this town is waiting in that line, waiting to enter that building. You wonder what that could be about.


Leo Michelini
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Old 05-28-2012, 11:54 PM
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APPROACH the LOCALS and INQUIRE about the TOWN.
Old 05-29-2012, 12:03 AM
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>Whip some citizens.
Old 05-29-2012, 01:14 AM
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Inform citizens you've "accidentally" released a shadow lurker (or "The" shadow lurker, you're kinda new to this still). Suggest leaving the area ASAP.
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Old 05-29-2012, 01:33 AM
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Get in line with the others. If the line's that long, it must be for something good - like Space Mountain at Disney World or queuing for Stones tickets.
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Old 05-29-2012, 04:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yokid View Post
>Whip some citizens.
What? No. That's stupid.
Stop being stupid. Why would you even do that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk Tooth View Post
APPROACH the LOCALS and INQUIRE about the TOWN.
You approach the nearest local, a woman, and ask her where you are. You see, you just found yourself here and you don't have a clue where you are.

She says this is the town of LAPANOZA, home of the WRESTLING LEAGUE. You ask what the Wrestling League is. She says it's in that building over there, that's what the line is for. It's less of a Wrestling League and more of a general combat League, but hey. They call it wrestling anyway. It's less fake than wrestling, at least.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Inform citizens you've "accidentally" released a shadow lurker (or "The" shadow lurker, you're kinda new to this still). Suggest leaving the area ASAP.
You tell the woman it might be wise to leave Lapanoza, because you've released the Shadowlurker and he may or may not end up killing everybody here. She says don't be silly, the fighters in the League can handle any sort of "shadow lurker" that shows up in Lapanoza!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Get in line with the others. If the line's that long, it must be for something good - like Space Mountain at Disney World or queuing for Stones tickets.
You thank the woman for her time and get in the line. Apparently, the people here are waiting to get into the circular building. A professional-looking officer standing near the gates shouts that the Arena will be open in five minutes. Some people in the line grumble. The man in front of you says something about waiting for too long as it is.

You ask if the lines are usually this long.

He says not quite. The lines are always long, but never this long. He says today is a special day. You ask why. He says the Champion of the Arena was challenged by a complete rookie, and the Champion accepted. The match is today.

Oh, how exciting. You say you may very well witness a massive upset.

The man tells you not to hold your breath. The Champion never loses. He says the Champion is a lot like a celebrity in Lapanoza. For example, look over there. There's a giant poster on wall of the Arena.

You look at the poster. It pictures a tanned bald man, dressed in some form of karate gi. He's wielding a long staff, much like a quarterstaff. You notice that instead of wearing a colored belt (as you would expect, given his outfit), he's wearing a black belt studded with diamonds, with a belt buckle in the shape of a lion's head.

...So, it's called the Wrestling League, and their Champion wields a quarterstaff.

Right.

Makes sense.


Leo Michelini
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Old 05-29-2012, 05:23 AM
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Put yourself as a volunteer to replace the rookie.
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Old 05-29-2012, 08:47 AM
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⇒Start wrestling everyone to get in the spirit of the ocasion.
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Old 05-29-2012, 12:05 PM
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> Notify everyone in the line that The Avengers was recently released and why are they all in line here
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Old 05-29-2012, 02:23 PM
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Ask name of rookie,
(Could it by any chance be Chupacabra?)
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Old 05-29-2012, 03:02 PM
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Scope out the Rookie's identity, find out what his choice of weapon is and devise a cunning scheme to steal it. You feel like upgrading the Cyberwhip - it's about that time.
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Old 05-29-2012, 10:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Ask name of rookie
You ask the person in front of you who this rookie is. You're curious. The man responds that he doesn't know, all he knows is that the guy's a complete rookie. He might not even be a native of Lapanoza.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Scope out the Rookie's identity, find out what his choice of weapon is and devise a cunning scheme to steal it. You feel like upgrading the Cyberwhip - it's about that time.
You ask if he knows anything about the rookie at all. Like what weapon he uses, what's his fighting style?

The man responds that, according to the Champion, this rookie fights like a traditional wrestler rather than the warriors and martial artists that have overtaken the Wrestling League.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisFlow View Post
Put yourself as a volunteer to replace the rookie.
Well, the rookie's not missing, so you highly doubt you could volunteer to take his place...

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> Notify everyone in the line that The Avengers was recently released and why are they all in line here
HEY EVERYBODY
AVENGERS CAME OUT A FEW WEEKS AGO
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ALL IN LINE HERE

A tanned man with a thick black mustache and a (possibly hilariously offensive) sombero turns to face you. Oh se?or, he says, why would you see THE AVENGERS when you could see THE CHAMPION KICK COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ASS?

The man at the gate shouts that the match will be starting soon. The gates to the Arena open. Everybody rushes in. You're not too sure where you're going, so you just follow the crowd into the lobby, up a set of stairs, and into the seating area of the Arena. From up here, you can get a good look at the arena: it's an elliptical field with sandy turf. The sand is two different unnatural colors: the left side of the field is blue sand, the right side of the field is red sand.

This is totally not wrestling.

A man comes out onto the field and stands in the middle of the red and blue sand. He looks up to the crowd. They begin cheering.

He begins shouting.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
YOU'RE IN FOR A SPECIAL TREAT TODAY
A MYSTERIOUS ROOKIE HAS CHALLENGED THE REIGNING CHAMPION
IN THE BLUE CORNER, WE HAVE... THE CHAMPION!

The man from the poster enters the arena from the left side. The difference is he's wearing a blindfold. The blindfold has a pattern on it: the sign for libra, if you're not mistaken.

The announcer comments that the Champion must be so confident in his abilities that he's choosing to wear a blindfold today. The Champion nods. He spins his staff around, passing it between his hands, and then he finally raises it triumphantly into the air. The crowd goes wild.

AND IN THE RED CORNER
WE HAVE THE ROOKIE!

The rookie enters from the right side of the arena. He's wearing a black wrestling singlet with a white goat emblem on the front and the back. The announcer looks at him and ponders for a moment.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
THE CHUPAAAAAAAAA
CABRAAAAAAAAAA

The crowd does not cheer. The crowd makes no noise. They care little for this rookie. They just want to see him taken out, perhaps in a body bag.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Start wrestling everyone to get in the spirit of the occasion.
You, for one, are ecstatic that this rookie had the bravery to challenge this champion. It's even more impressive that the rookie is fighting without any weapons! Such confidence! Admirable indeed! You begin to cheer wildly. Everybody in the audience, the announcer, and the Chupacabra all look at you. The Champion turns his head toward you. You continue cheering.

And you'll make the others cheer along with you! Come on, everybody, come on! You grab the person nearest you and start to playfully wrestle with him. You figure if you start to wrestle in the spectator's area, maybe everybody will get excited for both fighters in the match...

Okay this idea was stupid.

The man quickly overpowers you. He picks you up and throws you, right into the arena. You land at the announcer's feet. As you stand up, he tugs at his collar and begins to shout again.

IT SEEMS A NEW CHALLENGER HAS ENTERED THE ARENA

wait what he's talking about you isn't he

WHAT IS YOUR NAME, BRAVE CHALLENGER?

You think for a moment and quickly come up with a name: Sin Cara.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS MATCH IS NOW A FREE-FOR-ALL
THE CHAMPION VERSUS THE CHUPACABRA VERSUS SIN CARA DE LAPANOZA!

The announcer quickly exits the arena and a gong sounds. The match has begun. You're only beginning to grasp how completely screwed you are.


Leo Michelini
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Old 05-29-2012, 10:40 PM
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You're obviously going to need to use cunning to win survive this. Try whipping the champion's fancy belt off to make his pants fall and reduce his mobility.
Old 05-29-2012, 11:07 PM
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⇒Your a fast and agile man,focuse on dodging until the other two only focuse on fighting and start ignoring you then when thei get tired finish them with ease.
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Old 05-30-2012, 04:31 AM
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> SING "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2. You know, because of reasons.
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Old 05-30-2012, 01:46 PM
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convince them to sit in circle singing De Calores.
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:10 PM
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> WATCH for TELEGRAPHED ATTACKS and counter with body blows
Old 05-31-2012, 12:20 PM
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Piledriver.
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Last edited by ArtemisFlow; 05-31-2012 at 12:49 PM.
Old 06-03-2012, 02:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
convince them to sit in circle singing De Calores.
You tell them it's very possible to solve this dispute peacefully and still in an exciting manner. Everybody likes music, right? Right. You turn to the audience and begin to sing.

DE COLORES, DE COLORES
SE VISTEN LOS CAMPOS EN LA PRIMAVERA
DE COLORES, DE COLO--


The sombrero-wearing man shouts "RACIST" and throws his soda at you. You are hit in the face with a liquid you recognize to be Pepsi.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> SING "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2. You know, because of reasons.
Okay, okay, maybe singing a Spanish folk song is not the best way to win the crowd over. Maybe something a little less... Spanish. Before you can even begin to sing, the crowd starts to throw their food and drinks at you. The Champion and the Chupacabra aren't even doing anything. They're sort of just standing there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Your a fast and agile man,focuse on dodging until the other two only focus on fighting and start ignoring you then when they get tired finish them with ease.
Ah! You know how you'll win this! You'll just use your DEXTERITY to avoid their attacks and let those two fight it out! Good plan!

The Champion and the Chupacabra look at each other. The Champion points to you, still looking at the Chupacabra. The Chupacabra shrugs and the two of them begin to approach you. Looks like they've decided to team up on you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SRT View Post
> WATCH for TELEGRAPHED ATTACKS and counter with body blows
You try to wipe the soda and taco meat away from your eyes so you can see better. In the time it takes for you to do this, the Chupacabra has managed to grab you from behind. The Champion is getting set up for a powerful strike with his quarterstaff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk Tooth View Post
You're obviously going to need to use cunning to win survive this. Try whipping the champion's fancy belt off to make his pants fall and reduce his mobility.
You decide you can't let this happen. It might kill you! You stomp on the Chupacabra's foot. He lets go of you. You figure that if you can use your whip on the Champion's belt and take it off, his pants might fall down and his mobility will be reduced significantly. You pull out your diamond cyberwhip and swing it right at the lion belt buckle. The Champion grabs the whip right before it hits the belt, pulls on it to pull you toward him, punches you in the face, and then pries the whip from your hand.

Even if you don't have your whip, you might be able to take the belt anyway. You reach out for his belt. He brings the handle of your whip downward and strikes your hand with it, and then pushes you back.

Fine. Close quarters combat. You got this.

He strikes you on the side of the head with his staff and you fall to the ground. You begin to lose consciousness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtemisFlow View Post
Piledriver.
The Chupacabra picks you up, turns you around so your head's facing the ground, and piledrives you.

You're pretty sure you were the one that's supposed to be piledriving somebody else, but that clearly didn't happen now, did it.

You lose consciousness.

YOU ARE NOW THE CHUPACABRA. In the split second it took to transition from LEO to THE CHUPACABRA, the Champion has kicked your ass and you have also lost consciousness.

YOU ARE NOW LEO AGAIN.

You wake up in a hospital bed. The Chupacabra is in the bed beside you.

Well damn you got your ass handed to you didn't you.


Leo Michelini
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Old 06-03-2012, 03:06 PM
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You've heard tales that hospital jell-o gives temporary powers, ask nurse for some.
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Old 06-03-2012, 03:18 PM
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Wonder how you ever got the cyberwhip back inti your inventory.
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Old 06-03-2012, 05:15 PM
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Trow a rock at Chupacabra
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Old 06-03-2012, 05:20 PM
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> TRAINING MONTAGE l
Old 06-03-2012, 06:19 PM
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Ask Chupacabra to join party.....Challenge champion as a team...I mean you just got served, return the favor. After that it's on. I said IT'S ON. Orange County vs South Park...oh wait wrestling...you're probably screwed.
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Old 06-03-2012, 09:27 PM
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> Whip the other patients
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Old 06-05-2012, 01:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> Whip the other patients
Now that would just be rude!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Wonder how you ever got the cyberwhip back into your inventory.
Last you remember, you were getting your ass handed to you by the Champion, who stole your cyberwhip. You're guessing he returned it, or else the regulations of the League are that you get your weapon back, or something. You'll have to figure out those regulations eventually, since you need to beat that guy right the hell up with his own damn quarterstaff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Ask Chupacabra to join party.....Challenge champion as a team...I mean you just got served, return the favor. After that it's on. I said IT'S ON. Orange County vs South Park...oh wait wrestling...you're probably screwed.
But seeing as though, as far as you understand, anything goes in the Lapanoza Wrestling League...

You turn to the Chupacabra and ask if he'd care to join your party. You explain that together, the two of you shall rise through the Wrestling League and kick all of the ass. You've got this. You can do it. It's going down. You're going up in the ranks. It is on.

The Chupacabra says he's unsure.

A man with slicked back hair, sunglasses, and a suit enters the room. He says the crowd went wild after you guys lost consciousness.

You ask why.

He explains to you that you've just got a really punchable face and the crowd hates you so much that they love to see you. Get your ass kicked, he means.

You say oh.

He flashes a few hundred dollars and says he'll sponsor you as you fight through the League.

The Chupacabra has reconsidered your offer and graciously accepts. You ask who this strange, wealthy man is.

He introduces himself as Buick Velite. Now get goin', boys, you've got work to do.

THE CHUPACABRA HAS JOINED THE PARTY

Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
You've heard tales that hospital jell-o gives temporary powers, ask nurse for some.
A nurse storms into the room and shouts at this Buick Velite guy. She's telling him to get out of the room, she never said he could come in. He passes her a bit of money and she suddenly becomes significantly more pleasant. You take advantage of her new, pleasant nature and tell her you've heard rumors that hospitals in Lapanoza have a certain magical jello that enhances your abilities.

You're not sure how you heard this since you've only known what Lapanoza is for a few hours, and you spent a few of those hours unconscious.

She says that she's not sure where you heard that. They don't have jello in this hospital. They don't even have food. But they do have these rocks, sometimes people like to eat these rocks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
Throw a rock at Chupacabra
You take a rock from her and toss it at the Chupacabra. He asks why you did that. You tell him BECAUSE IT IS TIME TO TRAIN.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SRT View Post
> TRAINING MONTAGE
WAIT THIS IS STUPID

You proceed to have a soundless training montage. You are now infinitely stronger. Along the way, you pick up a GREEN LUCHA LIBRE MASK, since you are, after all, SIN CARA DE LAPANOZA.

Following your training montage, you find yourself inside the Arena. You've already fought multiple opponents and you're rising up in the ranks. You are scheduled to have a fight in about five minutes. You haven't seen you next opponent. The only thing you know is he's called Se?or Pinza. You also know you're fifth in the League. Three douchebags stand in the way of you and the Champion, and Se?or Pinza is one of them. Incidentally, the champion is also standing in the way of THE GRAND PRIZE: a magical compass. In addition to that sexy, sexy lion's head belt.

Your sponsor, Buick Velite, enters the room. He wishes you luck and tells you he's going to let you in on a little secret. You're gonna need some serious cunning to take down Se?or Pinza. The weapon he uses, it's got magical properties. He says it'll be hard, but worth it. A recent change in the League - perhaps brought about by Buick's bribery, he admits nothing - has enabled the victors to claim the weapons of the defeated.

He notices your interest and points out that the Champion's staff is the same sort of magic as Se?or Pinza's weapon.

The Chupacabra feels as though this entire act is written around the idea of introducing as many of the legendary weapons as possible. You have no idea what he's talking about.

You are now known as SIN CARA.


Sin Cara de Lapanoza
Health: Fine
Inventory (2/6): Diamond Cyberwhip | Weight

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (0/6)
Old 06-05-2012, 02:09 AM
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Go fight Se?or Pinza.

Since De Calores was a bust, try jokes about the crossing the border you know what why not, they like seeing you get punched already.
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Old 06-05-2012, 10:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Go fight Se?or Pinza.

Since De Calores was a bust, try jokes about the crossing the border you know what why not, they like seeing you get punched already.
The door opens up. You and your partner go out into the arena. The familiar, friendly face of the announcer is in the center.

IIIIIN THE BLUE CORNER, SIN CARA AND THE CHUPAAAAACABRAAAAA

Everybody proceeds to boo you and throw their things at you. This is the standard, really. Maybe one day, when you kick the Champion's ass, they'll think more highly of you. For now, though, you just have to deal with it and fight these other guys.

IIIIN THE RED CORNER, RANK FOUR IN THE WRESTLING LEAGUE...
SENOOOOOOOOR PINZAAAAAAA

The man enters the arena. You recognize him. He's the mustached, sombrero-wearing bastard that thought the Wrestling League was better than The Avengers. He's also the bastard that through his soda at you.

Wait, this guy's Rank 4?!

He looks significantly less amiable than you remember. Seems a lot more hostile and savage. Maybe it's just his battle face.

He tells you you're in for a world of hurt, se?or. You may very well be screwed. The announcer shouts to get your weapons at the ready. You swing your cyberwhip overhead and bring it down to the ground with a crack. The Chupacabra assumes a wrestling stance. Se?or Pinza reveals his weapon: a pair of CLAWS.


Yeah, sort of like that.

Yyyyup you're probably screwed. Pinza lunges at you.


Sin Cara de Lapanoza
Health: Fine
Inventory (2/6): Diamond Cyberwhip | Weight

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (0/6)
Old 06-05-2012, 11:02 PM
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Diamond Cyberwhip GO!
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:15 AM
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Cut thru the claws witht he cyberwhip. Diamond can cut through anything if my crazy earth science teacher was right
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:18 PM
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I know it didn't work last time, but Transform into Shadow Lurker
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:38 PM
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Use diamond Cyberwhip to reflect the light into his eyes, blinding him.
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Old 06-06-2012, 03:59 PM
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⇒Start spinning your whip in the air thus creating a storm of electrical Diamond Thunders
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Last edited by Eld; 06-06-2012 at 07:09 PM.
Old 06-06-2012, 07:06 PM
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↑you mean air, right?
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Old 06-06-2012, 08:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
I know it didn't work last time, but Transform into Shadow Lurker
You once again attempt to transform into the Shadowlurker.

Unfortunately you are unable to. You predicted this, of course, since it's been confirmed as of the end of Act II that you and the Shadowlurker are two different entities entirely.

You look up at the audience before you respond to his lunge. You're not sure why - something compels you to look. You find yourself looking right at the Shadowlurker, and he's looking back at you.

What the hell is he doing here.

Er... anyway, you've got a lunging Mexican to deal with, so... right, let's try doing something about that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PikMan View Post
Diamond Cyberwhip GO!
HELL YEAH MAN
THE ONLY WAY TO FIGHT THIS GUY IS WITH YOUR OWN WEAPON
He might have one of these fancy "legendary weapon" things, but you've got a DIAMOND CYBERWHIP you have crafted with your OWN HANDS. There's no better weapon than one you made yourself. You're gonna wreck this guy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snail View Post
Cut thru the claws with the cyberwhip. Diamond can cut through anything if my crazy earth science teacher was right
As he flies through the air toward you, he sticks out the claws on his left hand to impale you. You swing the whip at his claws. You don't care what his claws are made out of, all you know is your diamond cyberwhip will destroy those claws.

The whip manages to stop his lunge, but it doesn't even leave a scratch on his claws. In fact, your diamond cyberwhip seems to have sustained some damage.

What the hell, his claws cut through diamond.

OH AMIGO, he declares, DIAMONDS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE CANCER CLAWS

Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Use diamond Cyberwhip to reflect the light into his eyes, blinding him.
Well fine. You've got to figure out some other way to beat him so... you swing your cyberwhip up at an angle which should catch some light from the sun and reflect it in his eyes. He predicts your move and swings mightily with his right arm, striking your whip with the claws and breaking the diamond cyberwhip in two.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Start spinning your whip in the air thus creating a storm of electrical Diamond Thunders
B-but... but your whip is broken! You fall to your knees and start to cry. You've had this whip almost your whole life. When you were a baby you were whipping things. And then you started upgrading it, and it was cool, and... and now it's BROKEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN

The crowd is now laughing at you. Pinza walks over to you, slashes you with his claws, and kicks you onto the ground. The Chupacabra puts his hand out and tells you to tag him.

You do. The Chupacabra is now the combatant.


Sin Cara de Lapanoza
Health: Danger
Inventory (2/6): Broken Diamond Cyberwhip | Weight

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (0/6)
Old 06-07-2012, 02:00 AM
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Run a marathon for Cancer Claw awareness.
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Old 06-07-2012, 09:17 AM
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⇒Kick the mexican wolverine in the crouch!He doesnt have claws there...right?
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Old 06-07-2012, 09:26 AM
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Open a can of whoop-ass on your opponent.
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Old 06-07-2012, 01:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Run a marathon for Cancer Claw awareness.
You begin to run around the perimeter of the arena. You hope eventually people will start making pledges and donating money to your cause.

Pinza asks what you're doing.

You explain you're running a marathon for Cancer Claws awareness. This is a very important problem and people need to know about it and eventually find a way to cure it.

He is confused.

Just as planned.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Kick the mexican wolverine in the crotch!He doesnt have claws there...right?
You take advantage of his confusion and run up to him. He expects you to do a wrestling move on him, but instead you go for a punt to the crotch.

The claws on his left hand retract and erupt from his crotch region, both injuring you and stopping your kick.

GOD DAMN.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Open a can of whoop-ass on your opponent.
Okay, that does it. This guy sucks. He hurt Sin Cara. He just hurt you. He has crotch-claws. He's gotta go down, and you're gonna be the guy to do it! You grab his (currently) clawless left arm, pull him closer to you, wrap your arms around him, and fall back, suplexing him head-first into the ground. You let go of him. He can't get up at the moment, but he does slash you in the leg with his claws. You're not sure if you can win now that he's clawed your leg up. It's difficult to move, it's difficult to stand. You get an idea.

You put your hand out and tag Sin Cara in.

YOU ARE NOW SIN CARA AGAIN.

You're weak, heavily injured, and another hit would kill you, but you can do this. You approach the injured Pinza. You know he can shoot claws out pretty much anywhere, so you need to be crafty. By crafty, of course, you mean bashing him in his face with the handle of your broken diamond cyberwhip and knocking him out.

You do so.

You then sit on him for a few seconds until the announcer declares your victory. And, because you've defeated Pinza, you have earned his weapon. A person in the audience hops down into the arena and approaches the defeated Pinza.


ʏᴇs, ɪ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪs ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙ.

So that's why the Shadowlurker is here, then. He kneels down beside Pinza. Shadowlurker's cloak seems to take on a life of its own as it expands and envelops the man, so neither you nor the audience is able to see what sort of unspeakable horrors are happening beneath the cloak. A moment later, the cloak retracts to its regular size and the Shadowlurker is holding a pair of simple-looking claws, connected at the base by a wooden block. He gives them to you.

You take the Cancer Claws. You see there's some sort of message written on the wooden block. Upon closer inspection, it reads "SUCKER." You wonder what this means. Soon enough, the claws begin to sink into your skin. They're merging with you. It's not a painful process - you don't feel a thing, really - but you imagine this'll be a reeeeaaaal pain in the ass down the line.

YOU HAVE OBTAINED:

THE CANCER CLAWS
Level 4 Legendary Weapon
CARCINOGENESIS: Deep cuts cause mother****ing cancer. Wielder is immune to cancer.
Fuses with the wielder and gradually corrupts the user.

Well ****.


Sin Cara de Lapanoza
Health: Danger
Inventory (3/7): Broken Diamond Cyberwhip | Weight | Cancer Claws

The Chupacabra
Health: Danger
Inventory (0/6)

Last edited by Marina; 06-07-2012 at 05:36 PM.
Old 06-07-2012, 01:27 PM
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⇒Start dancing and celebrating your victory,and kill ShadowLurker!
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Old 06-07-2012, 02:54 PM
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↑Shadowlurker has infinite health, he doesn't die.


Go to nearest pub and regain your lost health.
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Old 06-08-2012, 03:54 AM
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> Use your CLAWS to carve up CARCINOGEN STEAKS for all the little children
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Old 06-08-2012, 12:28 PM
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⇒Kiss and hug ShadowLurker he only needs some love!
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Old 06-08-2012, 09:05 PM
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Use Cancer Claws on Shadow Lurker to try and defeat him finally.
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Old 06-09-2012, 02:03 AM
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Try to heal the cancer that Chupacabra probably contracted when Pinza slashed his leg.
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Old 06-10-2012, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Start dancing and celebrating your victory,and kill ShadowLurker!

SUCCESS
YOU ARE NOW RANK 4
HELL YEAH

Anyway, you get the feeling that the Shadowlurker is kind of evil and he should probably die, might be a good idea to kill him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Use Cancer Claws on Shadow Lurker to try and defeat him finally.
You lunge at the Shadowlurker with the cancer claws. He steps back to avoid your lunge and chuckles.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ sᴇʀɪᴏᴜsʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴍᴇ, ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Kiss and hug ShadowLurker he only needs some love!
Oh, yeah, sure, if you can't defeat him in combat, then show him some love and maybe he'll see the light.


On second thought, you don't think you'll be doing that.

Besides, you can't defeat the Shadowlurker now anyway. You would cause a TIME PARADOX.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Go to nearest pub and regain your lost health.
The crowd is less than enthused that you defeated (and inadvertently caused the Shadowlurker-based death of) Pinza. The announcer apathetically announces your victory. You take your leave. You and your partner go to the pub in Lapanoza and sit down. Being a part of the wrestling league lets you eat for free here, no matter how unpopular you are. A waitress comes out and congratulates you on your victory. She is holding ale and two plates of what appears to be steak. She sets these things down on your table.

The Chupacabra asks what sort of steak this is. The woman responds that it is GOAT STEAK.

Little do either of you know, this one meal would cause the Chupacabra's goat flesh addiction.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> Use your CLAWS to carve up CARCINOGEN STEAKS for all the little children
You notice the waitress did not bring out any utensils. You ask her what's up with that. She explains that somebody stole all of the pub's utensils, so you'll just have to make do with your hands.

Of course, you can make due with your CANCER CLAWS. This is surely an appropriate use of those. You conjure up your cancer claws and begin shredding apart the goat steaks into tiny bits. See, what you're actually doing is giving all of the INDIVIDUAL GOAT STEAK BITS cancer. You put all of the CARCINOGEN STEAKS onto a plate and carry them over to a group of children who seem to be celebrating a birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIDS HAVE SOME GOAT STEAKS






Poor bastards'll be dead by the end of the year.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Try to heal the cancer that Chupacabra probably contracted when Pinza slashed his leg.
HA HA WHAT CANCER
CHUPACABRA DOESN'T HAVE CANCER WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

The Chupacabra asks why you were just speaking so loudly about the cancer he doesn't have.

You tell him to shut up and drink his ale.

The two of you drink your ale and restore you health.

Buick Velite enters the pub, sees you, and approaches you. He congratulates you on your win and says you just made him a few thousand dollars richer. You ask if he intends to share it.

He ignores you. He leans forward and tells you a bit of a secret, and orders you not to tell anybody. Now that you're Rank 4, you'll be fighting Rank 3 when you're ready. He says Rank 3's weapon is a scythe. He doesn't know what the scythe does, all he knows is it's a scythe and it's probably something similar to the champion's staff and your claws. He wishes you luck and takes his leave.


Sin Cara de Lapanoza
Health: Fine
Inventory (3/7): Broken Diamond Cyberwhip | Weight | Cancer Claws

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (0/6)
Old 06-11-2012, 02:45 PM
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Tell Cupacabra that you got a vision of the future, tell him a strange man wearing a suit will burn down the town of Urbs Pacis and kill all of the peasants, then he will go after the king and ask Chup to join his party.
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Old 06-11-2012, 05:02 PM
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⇒acuse the man of being harrasing you!
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Old 06-13-2012, 08:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒accuse the man of being harassing you!
Now, see, if you accused Buick Velite of harassing you, he might stop being your sponsor, and nobody really wants that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Tell Chupacabra that you got a vision of the future, tell him a strange man wearing a suit will burn down the town of Urbs Pacis and kill all of the peasants, then he will go after the king and ask Chup to join his party.
As you eat your cancersteaks, you get an almost prophetic vision of the future. You tell the Chupacabra that one day, there will be a man. He will be wearing a black suit and a fedora. He will burn down the outer circle of a city called Urbs Pacis - your home city, not Chupacabra's, though you're sure he's heard of it since it is literally the greatest place on Earth - and the peasants will die. The man will eventually find himself rebelling against the Tyrant King of Urbs Pacis, and the Chupacabra will also find himself in this party of rebels.

He asks what you'll be doing. You say you don't know.


Sin Cara de Lapanoza
Health: Fine
Inventory (3/7): Broken Diamond Cyberwhip | Weight | Cancer Claws

The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (0/6)
Old 06-14-2012, 01:33 AM
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Combine "Broken Diamond Cyberwhip" with "Weight"
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Old 06-14-2012, 01:36 AM
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Cancer steak has given you a stomach ache. Rub belly til the pain subsides.
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Old 06-14-2012, 12:12 PM
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⇒Fuse everithing you have togheter thus creating an unexplainable time portal and send chupacabra to the future you predicted.
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Old 06-15-2012, 06:10 AM
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[Jeez, I was not expecting that picture on the last page. This site is now on the list of web locations I can never surf in the dark.]

> Punch whoever is most likely to bring about PLOT DEVELOPMENTS
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BinkyBella View Post
Cancer steak has given you a stomach ache. Rub belly til the pain subsides.
While you do not contract cancer from the cancersteaks - at least not permanently - it does sort of hurt. See, the way the Cancer Claws seem to work is that if you contract cancer, it destroys it. It doesn't prevent it. Every time you take a bite of this steak you are contracting cancer and goddamn is it unpleasant. You rub your belly as you glance over at the children at the other table.

They're all dead.

Whoops.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Combine "Broken Diamond Cyberwhip" with "Weight"
Your diamond cyberwhip is broken, that's fine. It can't be used as a whip anymore, but it might make for a really good blunt instrument... provided you make some modifications, of course. You combine the BROKEN DIAMOND CYBERWHIP and the WEIGHT to get the HEAVY BROKEN DIAMOND CYBERWHIP. Cool!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Fuse everything you have together thus creating an unexplainable time portal. Send Chupacabra to the future you predicted.
You attempt to merge the HEAVY BROKEN DIAMOND CYBERWHIP and the CANCER CLAWS, but the CANCER CLAWS are inside of you and therefore uncombinable! Your attempt has created an inexplicable rift, presumably a portal through time. This is perfect. You figure the cancer will kill the Chupacabra before the two years is up, and this portal might shoot him into the future you've predicted. You shove the Chupacabra into the portal just as it closes. You wish him luck in his temporal voyage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
[Jeez, I was not expecting that picture on the last page. This site is now on the list of web locations I can never surf in the dark.]
YEEEESSSS

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> Punch whoever is most likely to bring about PLOT DEVELOPMENTS
There's nobody particularly punchable in this place. You walk outside and see a woman clad in blue robes walking by. You decide she looks important enough to be plot-relevant, and you punch her in the face. As it turns out, the ARENA ANNOUNCER is nearby and shouts that SIN CARA has officially challenged LA MUERTE. The fight begins NOW, right in the streets of Lapanoza!

The woman draws her weapon, a sinister-looking black scythe. The scythe itself seems to have an otherworldly glow to it.

Yep.

This is Rank 3.


Sin Cara de Lapanoza
Health: Fine
Inventory (2/7): Heavy Broken Diamond Cyberwhip | Cancer Claws
Old 06-15-2012, 11:19 PM
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⇒Sumon an army of angels,to completely defeat the opponent and turn yourself into a Holy Man!
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Old 06-16-2012, 02:53 AM
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Oh sweet merciful.... her name translates into "The Death", well sorta. Toss "Heavy Diamond Cyberwhip" at her for a ranged attack, if she catches it, it'll slow her down.
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Old 06-16-2012, 07:49 AM
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↑actually "La muerte" is the Grim Riper Portuguese people and spanish call it "death".
So "La muerte"→Grim Riper
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Old 06-16-2012, 04:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Toss "Heavy Diamond Cyberwhip" at her for a ranged attack, if she catches it, it'll slow her down.
You throw the heavy broken diamond cyberwhip at her. She swings her scythe and cuts it in two with ease. God dammit. She kicks both halves back to you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Sumon an army of angels,to completely defeat the opponent and turn yourself into a Holy Man!
AWWWW YEAH
LIMIT BREAK
ANGEL ARMY

Except two problems with that:
Your LIMIT GAUGE is not FULL and also it is PERMANENTLY FROZEN as a result of your CANCER CLAWS-BASED CORRUPTION. Whoops!

Let's do something else while the scythegirl hands your ass to you.

-=ACT III INTERMISSION 1=-

You are now THE CHUPACABRA. Your dear friend Leo SIN CARA has tossed you into a PORTAL. You both thought it was a time portal, but it looks to be something a little bit different than that. The place you are in has black skies and glowing blue ground. It looks like an empty plane of existence, really. Maybe if you wander enough you'll come to something interesting, but for now you are stuck in this... this strange... what will you call it... INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT.


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Old 06-16-2012, 05:55 PM
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⇒Start digging the ground,maybe you can find resources or open another portal!
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Old 06-16-2012, 05:56 PM
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Tnt to dig
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Old 06-16-2012, 06:37 PM
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Pull out mask from inventory OH NOES, NOW PEOPLE WILL KNOW MY IDENTITY, AND I WILL BE FOREVER SHAMED.


(@Eld?r, it has been more than 2 years since I've had any Spanish lessons, and I only took it 1 year, noticing what it could very loosely translate as, is an achievement.)
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Old 06-16-2012, 07:17 PM
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I wasnt saying that you couldnt translate!You did it perfrectly!

I was just saying that Portuguese and spanish people call the Grim Reaper Death.
Just a curiosity.

Sorry if you took it the wrong way...
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Old 06-16-2012, 10:12 PM
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Chupacabra: Hopefully find someone/something that cures the cancer you don't know you have.

Alternatively, hopefully become immortal thanks to exposure to the INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT.
Old 06-16-2012, 11:15 PM
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> Walk one direction for as long as physically possible
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Old 06-19-2012, 06:59 PM
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-=THE INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT=-

Quote:
Originally Posted by PikMan View Post
Tnt to dig
Unfortunately, you do not have TNT! You are unable to blow up the ground.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Start digging the ground,maybe you can find resources or open another portal!
But you can still dig through. You take your fists and start PUNCHING THE HELL OUT OF THE GROUND in the hopes that you can locate resources or a portal. After some time, you have nothing but bleeding fists. Looks like you can't break through this ground, whatever it is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Pull out mask from inventory OH NOES, NOW PEOPLE WILL KNOW MY IDENTITY, AND I WILL BE FOREVER SHAMED.
You are not wearing your mask, but you pull a mask out of your inventory anyway. Wait a sec. This looks a lot like SIN CARA'S mask. Now you remember. You were keeping a spare just in case he lost his. Well. Who cares if he lost his? Guy tossed you into an INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT. Screw him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk Tooth View Post
Chupacabra: Hopefully find someone/something that cures the cancer you don't know you have.
Well, there's nobody in this empty INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT, but you sure do hope that you'll end up in a place that lets you cure your cancer eventually! That'd be really sweet. Not that you know you have cancer, of course. You're not entirely sure what cancer even is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk Tooth View Post
Alternatively, hopefully become immortal thanks to exposure to the INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT.
There is also the possibility that being stuck in this place will make you immortal, which is pretty cool. Maybe you'll stick around long enough to find out. You don't actually like the Interdimensional Rift and would gladly leave if you could, but if it makes you immortal it's either totally worth it or totally horrible depending on whether or not you're really stuck here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> Walk one direction for as long as physically possible
You walk and walk and walk. The scenery never changes.

About three hours into your walking, you finally come across something. It looks like some form of PORTAL that may or may not take you somewhere. Since this is the INTERDIMENSIONAL RIFT, it goes without saying you can probably portal your way into other dimensions.



The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (1/6): Sin Cara's Mask
Old 06-19-2012, 07:23 PM
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Throw something into portal, but tie a string to it, pull it back in to see if it was damaged, proving wether it is safe or not.
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Old 06-20-2012, 12:01 AM
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⇒Charge fiercly into the portal,LIKE A REAL MAN(or wathever chupacabra is)!!!
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Old 06-23-2012, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Throw something into portal, but tie a string to it, pull it back in to see if it was damaged, proving whether it is safe or not.
Well, you've got a mask to throw in there, but you unfortunately have no string! Looks like there's only one way to see what's on the other side. You take a few steps back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Charge fiercely into the portal, LIKE A REAL MAN(or whatever chupacabra is)!!!
And begin to charge fiercely at the portal. As soon as you get close, you jump into the air and into the scary purple stuff. The world around you goes black for a moment, but then it begins to change itself around you.

Wherever you are, it is currently NIGHT TIME. You can gather from the surrounding buildings that you are in a CITY. Is this Urbs Pacis, that place Leo talked about all the time? No, no, you doubt that. It's more likely you're in some other sort of reality. Curiously, all the lights in the city are out. You wonder if they have electricity or any sort of lighting at all, or maybe the city is just an abandoned ghost town. Either way, you don't like it. You find yourself standing in front of the largest building in sight. It catches your eye because it's the only lit place in the entire city.



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Health: Fine
Inventory (1/6): Sin Cara's Mask
Old 06-23-2012, 03:27 PM
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⇒Try and conquer the castle,LORD OF THE RINGS STYLE
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Old 06-23-2012, 06:31 PM
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Well, if there was a lot of radiation in the portal, your cancer may have been cured
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Old 06-23-2012, 09:13 PM
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> Attempt to locate some natives. Perhaps they can help you establish if you are immortal or not
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Old 06-23-2012, 10:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Well, if there was a lot of radiation in the portal, your cancer may have been cured
Well... it's very possible that the portal was operated by sci-fi, high-tech radiation or something, rather than magic. It might have either killed or enhanced the cancer you don't know you have. You suppose you'll find out eventually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by antigrammer View Post
> Attempt to locate some natives. Perhaps they can help you establish if you are immortal or not
Going by the fact that the lights are out in the city, you're certain there's some sort of curfew and there are no natives to be found. The tower, however, is lit up. Maybe you should check that out. You'll be able to see whether or not you're immortal, at least.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Try and conquer the castle,LORD OF THE RINGS STYLE
You march into the Tower. You can feel something strange as you pass through the door. You have the feeling that you've walked through some sort of forcefield and can no longer leave.

A strange message appears in front of your eyes. What on earth...



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Inventory (1/6): Sin Cara's Mask
Old 06-24-2012, 12:08 AM
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Wait for the strange message to supply response options to press.
Old 06-24-2012, 01:58 AM
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Falcooon Puuunch the X to close message
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Old 06-24-2012, 08:09 AM
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⇒Turn into megachupacabra Zero and use your Z-saber to delete message

(obvious megaman Zero reference is obvious)
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Old 06-24-2012, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Milk Tooth View Post
Wait for the strange message to supply response options to press.
You stand still for a moment. No response options ever appear. Well, looks like you'll have to get rid of it somehow...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky#13 View Post
Falcooon Puuunch the X to close message
FALCONE
PAUNCH
With a swing of your mighty fist, you shatter the message. Sure, the X was grayed out and you couldn't press it, but you sure could beat the hell out of it. Well that problem's taken care of.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eld?r View Post
⇒Turn into megachupacabra Zero and use your Z-saber to delete message
Alas, morphing now would cause a TIME PARADOX, because in two years, you are not MegaChupacabra Zero!

Hm. Another message.




The Chupacabra
Health: Fine
Inventory (1/6): Sin Cara's Mask

Last edited by Marina; 06-24-2012 at 03:09 PM.
Old 06-24-2012, 03:24 PM
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⇒Apolegize for the punch and ask politely what kind of problems you may encounter and where exactly are you.

(is it me or the number posts between Marinas post is getting smaller in comparison with the first pages)
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Old 06-24-2012, 03:35 PM
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Thank mysterious message box for it's time and proceed.


(and yes it is slowing)
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