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So, I've been developing an idea for a book for a couple books but I never really knew how to execute it. Before I tell you all more I have about the first 449 words from Chapter 1...tell me what you think. The first page is always the hardest!
Spoiler!
A young man with short ruffled black hair sat up in his dusty bed. Glancing over to his right he looked out the window to see if the sun had raised yet. The sun was still resting right under the horizon not quite ready to show itself to all in the world.
Smiling to himself with pleasure that he had gotten up on time he heaved himself off of his bed and walked out the small little space he called his room. Turning to the kitchen he saw his mother waiting for him in the middle of the old wooden kitchen.
“Hello mother,” he greeted as casually as he could, even though he can see tears starting to trickle down her rosy cheeks.
“Alex,” his mother started, but her voice cracked. She swallowed and starting again, “Alex, your father would be proud to see this day…I-I know he would.” Alex sighed and looked at her; the death of his father in battle when he was 12 almost destroyed her there were times he himself didn’t know if she would make it through the night without hanging herself.
Though when just a year ago when he had told her that the day after his 18th birthday he was going to leave and start a life by himself. She seemed to have pulled herself together for the sake of him so Alex could enjoy his last year at the house without worrying for her. “Jessica my mother, there’s no need to cry. Why you should be happy very happy! You should be leaping around the house with joy for me now. For I am starting a new life, a happy one and I’ll make sure once I am settled I will come and visit again!”
Jessica nodded reluctantly, “I know my son. Today is the day you must go and get your own bearings. I knew this day would come but I had no idea so soon! I’m not ready for you to go Alex there’s so much you can still do around here and….” Her son cut her off with a wave of his hand, “No, I must go, you always have your other son, Henry. He’s 13 and I’ve taught him a lot so that when today came he will be ready. Now I want to go now, I said goodbye to Henry before he went off to bed last night, besides he’s sleep anyways. I want to be on my way before the sun rises.”
Alex’s mother looked at him for a moment that seemed to last for a couple minutes before handing him a brown sack. It contained bread, cheese and a container holding water in it.
Here is a random excerpt
Spoiler!
“Alexander my son, take this sword. For if I don’t come back you will have something to protect your mother and your younger brother if something called for a weapon.” His dad had said.
“Father…does that mean that you are not coming back? Will I ever see you again?” Alex had said with a shaky voice.
“I will never leave you son.”
A month after his father departed, there was a knock on the door with the news that his father had fallen in battle. After his death, the boy had tended to anything that need a man around the cottage, from herding livestock to working late nights in the farm.
__________________ ?There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself.?
Needs more imagery. Also you repeat subjects a lot. Use some pronouns! XD Also in line 2 where you said "...to see if the sun had raised yet..." change that to "...to see if the sun had yet raised..."
As for imagery, describe the dawn more. Add in little things like crickets chirping or owls hooting. Describe his cramped room more too