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Oh geez, I wrote a poem
Old 05-24-2013, 08:43 PM
DarkShade's Avatar
Huh?
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Georgia
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Default Oh geez, I wrote a poem

I don't make poems, but I heard these lyrics from a song and I though "Hey I should try to make a poem based off of that. So here you go the poem called homelessness. Oh and I made it rhyme :P And I suck at poems, but I figured why not right?

Spoiler!
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Last edited by DarkShade; 05-24-2013 at 09:21 PM.
Old 05-24-2013, 08:57 PM
Tekka's Avatar
Crimson Wizard
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Rustboro City, Hoenn
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Default

It's a good start, DarkShade. Something you may want to keep in mind when you're writing a rhyming piece is the rhythm of the lines.

Iambic pentameter - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also since do/go and home/bones don't rhyme, it's best to keep the alternation consistent.

1 & 2. Rhyme
2 & 3. No Rhyme
4 & 5. Rhyme
6 & 7. No Rhyme, and so on.

My personal preferences of course, so don't take my suggestions as gospel. Good luck!
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:05 PM
DarkShade's Avatar
Huh?
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 725
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tekka View Post
It's a good start, DarkShade. Something you may want to keep in mind when you're writing a rhyming piece is the rhythm of the lines.

Iambic pentameter - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also since do/go and home/bones don't rhyme, it's best to keep the alternation consistent.

1 & 2. Rhyme
2 & 3. No Rhyme
4 & 5. Rhyme
6 & 7. No Rhyme, and so on.

My personal preferences of course, so don't take my suggestions as gospel. Good luck!
Thanks for the feedback :P and I was rhyming so that every two lines rhymed(or somewhat) with each other. Plus it was just for fun, thanks again.
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?There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself.?
Old 05-24-2013, 09:07 PM
Turtles's Avatar
I'm gonna burgle your turts
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Chelonii
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tekka View Post
It's a good start, DarkShade. Something you may want to keep in mind when you're writing a rhyming piece is the rhythm of the lines.

Iambic pentameter - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also since do/go and home/bones don't rhyme, it's best to keep the alternation consistent.

1 & 2. Rhyme
2 & 3. No Rhyme
4 & 5. Rhyme
6 & 7. No Rhyme, and so on.

My personal preferences of course, so don't take my suggestions as gospel. Good luck!
it doesnt have to rhyme
it can be unstructured, free verse

and its good
but for the rhythm imo all you have to do is remove other from 'other people think' on 3rd line, it will still work and the rhythm will flow more
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:11 PM
Tekka's Avatar
Crimson Wizard
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Rustboro City, Hoenn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turtles View Post
it doesnt have to rhyme
it can be unstructured, free verse

and its good
but for the rhythm imo all you have to do is remove other from 'other people think' on 3rd line, it will still work and the rhythm will flow more
Of course it doesn't have to rhyme, that's why I said "when you're writing a rhyming piece." :P

If it is a rhyming piece the structure is very important IMO. If the lines don't flow to a rhythm the rhymes themselves are far less effective.
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:57 PM
Snail's Avatar
Row Row Fight da Powa
 
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turtles View Post
it doesnt have to rhyme
it can be unstructured, free verse

and its good
but for the rhythm imo all you have to do is remove other from 'other people think' on 3rd line, it will still work and the rhythm will flow more
I love writing free verse! By the way its not too bad darkshade!
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