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The Story Contest
Old 07-13-2013, 07:41 PM
Rosetail21's Avatar
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Default The Earthquake.

Ok, heres the objective.You make up a story,based on anything,Then you look at other peeps stories and like the ones you like (you MUST like other peeps stories or this would be worthless) But the story with the most likes,WINS! ill join in just for fun,no one like mine im not in da contest .-.

Added after 56 minutes:

Daniel jumped to the other rock,dareing not to fall in the bottomless pit.I have two more rocks to go... then,Daniel woke up.His heart was racing.“It was just a dream”.Thought Daniel.Daniel was a 13 year old boy.He lived in a Suite,named after himself.He was rich.About 10 million dollars rich.He goes to a private school named “Santa Fea” “Good moring mom” Said Daniel.His little sister,Hailey,came into the room. Shes 9.Shes always calm and shy.“Whats for breakfast?” “Pancakes and sausage” “Were also going to the park today. “Great”.Thought Daniel. “Another day around crying Babies,and nose picking 6 year olds”. As He finished his breakfast,he played his PS3.Finally, his sister was finished,and they headed off to the park. When they got there, Haily went to the monkey bars.Daniel and his mom sat at a bench.“Why do we have to come here every day?”For exercise.You should try jogging around the park for once.“Ok,fine”.So he got up and started jogging.After 15 minutes he felt shaky.He cought his breath and still felt unstable it was like he was vibrating.After a while he felt pretty confused.Was he ill?He was about to go tell his mom when he heard a lady screech EEEEEAAAARRRRTTTTHHHHQQQUUAAKKKEEEE!!!

Daniel jumped to the other rock,dareing not to fall in the bottomless pit.I have two more rocks to go... then,Daniel woke up.His heart was racing.?It was just a dream?.Thought Daniel.Daniel was a 13 year old boy.He lived in a Suite,named after himself.He was rich.About 10 million dollars rich.He goes to a private school named ?Santa Fea? ?Good moring mom? Said Daniel.His little sister,Hailey,came into the room. Shes 9.Shes always calm and shy.?Whats for breakfast?? ?Pancakes and sausage? ?Were also going to the park today. ?Great?.Thought Daniel. ?Another day around crying Babies,and nose picking 6 year olds?. As He finished his breakfast,he played his PS3.Finally, his sister was finished,and they headed off to the park. When they got there, Haily went to the monkey bars.Daniel and his mom sat at a bench.?Why do we have to come here every day??For exercise.You should try jogging around the park for once.?Ok,fine?.So he got up and started jogging.After 15 minutes he felt shaky.He cought his breath and still felt unstable it was like he was vibrating.After a while he felt pretty confused.Was he ill?He was about to go tell his mom when he heard a lady screech EEEEEAAAARRRRTTTTHHHHQQQUUAAKKKEEEE!!!
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Last edited by Rosetail21; 07-13-2013 at 07:40 PM.
Old 07-13-2013, 11:05 PM
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soo...umm....anyone else?
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Old 07-13-2013, 11:08 PM
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lol ikr peeps should like writing stories
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Old 07-13-2013, 11:18 PM
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I'm writing a book. while it's a collection of short stories they are still longer than a forum post XD
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Old 07-14-2013, 12:10 AM
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im writing a series of books called “Race to adventure island” im on the 4th book.I made a copy of my 1st book and read it to my classmates,they really liked it

im writing a series of books called ?Race to adventure island? im on the 4th book.I made a copy of my 1st book and read it to my classmates,they really liked it
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Old 07-14-2013, 01:36 AM
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post a dl link of ya books so i can check it out. preffered mobi or epub files or even txt, but don't make PDFs
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If the earth would be a sphere and not a disc, I wouldn't be so afraid to fall of the edge......
Old 07-14-2013, 03:27 AM
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I write. I had to write a thingy today for virtual school. (I get 4 electives by taking these courses!) I don't think it's good. I guess I could post it...
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:37 AM
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what da heck is virtual school? are you pretending to get an education?
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:37 AM
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Kamisorix,im sorry idk how to do that lol
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:38 AM
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then just copy and paste it into a txt file. every PC can do txt. just use the notepad or word.
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KamisoriX View Post
what da heck is virtual school? are you pretending to get an education?
They provide courses, but online. It's not fun, especially because I have to complete 3 semesters worth of work. (one one semester class and one two semester class) So I'm downloading the journal entries from my account.
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Old 07-14-2013, 03:48 AM
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sounds ineffective to me. it's like that radio school in australia where the kids dont even go to school but listen to a radio show all day.
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If the earth would be a sphere and not a disc, I wouldn't be so afraid to fall of the edge......
Old 07-14-2013, 03:53 AM
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It's effective, just extremely barebones. I doubt I'm going to major in History though, so a class credit is a class credit. (not to say that history isn't interesting) There's some references to pictures I may have missed. I had to add pictures too. Oh, and almost everyone dies. Yeah.

So, here's my story. The assignment was to create a journal akin to the travel journals Louis and Clark kept. So being the sci-fi geek I am, of course I turn it into a story about Earth being harvested for its resources with gibberish alien names, as well as borrowing elements from the "Ender Quintet" and adding in environmental messages.

A thick cloud of smoke hung in the air. Luckily, my rais dispelled the air of any harmful substances before turning it into oxygen. Leafless trees lined road, giving off an eerie feeling. I heard a THUD! I turned around to see Ran lying in front of a pile of debris.
“Watchoo lookin’ at? You never see someone trip?” Ran taunted, trying to assert his dominance.
I turned around, staring at the post-apocalyptic scene. A couple of Donnas rolled around, scaring off any one of the Trepes daring to come close to them.
“How did they get here first?” I muttered.
One of the Donnas approached me. “You Tak?”
“Yeah.” I replied.
“Your friend wanted me to give you this.”
He handed me a notebook. I opened the notebook. Ran jumped up and down, trying to see what was in the notebook.
“Oh, my…” I muttered. “This is Porky’s! Before the Donnas came!” I began to read the notebook, meticulously reading every word.
July 13th, 2013
After five years of masquerading myself as a homo sapien, collectively self-referred to as a human, I am finally ready to embark on a 50 mile expedition. (5960 zolborks) I am currently making preparations for the trip, taking along with me human food and a thirst-quenching liquid called water. I shall bring you samples once I arrive home. Until then, I “bid you adieu”. (That’s a human phrase. Instead of communicating with one common dialect, humans use multiple languages)



July 14th, 2013
I have set out on the road. What we remember as a lush forest has been turned into an industrialized advertising exhibit. Signs and lights are everywhere to catch the attention of the travelling humans. That’s the thing about humans. They travel on new machines, unlike the horses of old, spitting out pollution and harming the Earth. These machines are dangerous, not to just the environment, but to us as well. Due to varying size between us and the homo sapiens, these transport machines have the ability to kill. Be cautious.
Humans seem to have a technological obsession with everything, and not just transport. The latest craze amongst humans seems to be something called the iPod. Judging from my observations, the iPod can text, play music, and create electronic simulation, all for entertainment. Yet it seems their obsession with technology has inhibited them too. With so many humans focusing their advanced technological skills on a variety of useless categories, humans are unable to advance to the great era of technology that everyone else is at, such as interplanetary space travel, environmental weapons, the ability to inject abilities into others, and other commonplace conventions used in other modern societies today. Also, because of the increasing reliance on machines, humans are running out of jobs, and slowly destroying their economy from the inside. In other words, they may have iPods, but we are much superior in terms of weapons and transportation. There should be no worries here.
I have not seen many instances of nature yet, so I cannot report on that. It does seem however, that certain areas have been preserved in their natural states for humans to enjoy. While these may seem like good habitats, areas have been destroyed to distribute food, create tours, and collect money. Judging from the deterioration of natural areas from greed, tourism, and pollution, there would be few habitable places that wouldn't require major adaptation.

July 15th, 2013
I have reached the area humans call “Temple Terrace”. There isn’t much to report about today, although I have encountered a few oddities. Apparently, humans love to treat themselves to fatty and greasy foods. With the increasing amount of fat and grease used in foods today, humans are becoming more round. This condition causes their most of their physical attributes to lower themselves. Comparing the human diet with ours, we have much more nutritional balance, and our physical attributes surpass most of the humans.
Humans also have these things called “pets”. Pets are domesticated animals who are under the “ownership” of humans. Whether pets enjoy this human companionship has yet to be seen, but I haven’t seen very many instances of abuse.
Not only are humans technologically inferior to us, but they don’t even know how to use advanced technology when given to them. I handed a boy one of my food pills to see what he would do with it. He proceeded to swallow it, not even bothering to experiment with it. Let’s hope a tratenio doesn't grow in his stomach. One of the fabled “cities”
July 17th, 2013
I have finally reached one of the last remnants of “pure nature”. I was able to make a detour from my path and scout out the nature. While word of mouth about nature commercialization is true, there are still sections of pure, untampered natures, besides a path or bridge here or there. These areas are very well-suited to our needs. If no human resistance occurs, we could very much live in peace with the humans.
With that being said, there are still a lot of animals, just less of a variety. There’s more birds, more squirrels, but no dodo birds and less turtles. The animals don’t seem to be extremely intelligent. It’s almost as if they have enough smarts to get what they need to survive. The only competition we should get from animals are for shelter or food, but we will learn to cooperate.
July 19th, 2013
I made it! I found the perfect area to live in! It’s filled with trees, food, animals, water, and shelter. There’s even a wide, open area to rest our spacecraft. We can introduce both humans and animals to new types of technology. Everyone will be happy, it will be a paradise.
There are many rumors of dangerous animals residing within the area. While they may prove to be a tough obstacle to overcome, these rumors are enough to keep humans away from the area, away from our future home. Since you’ll be arriving in a couple of years, (when did you leave our planet? A couple of months after me?) I’ll begin preparations. I’ll stock up on metals and bits of human technology. (such as the iPod) They can learn from us, and we can learn from them. I’ll be waiting!


December 14th, 2013
Leave while you still can, before they find you. You know those “dangerous animals in the woods”? Those are Donnas. They are destroying the Earth, wiping out all humans. Despite this, the Donnas are friendly. They’re payed mercenaries. They won’t hurt you unless you invade their territory. I have a man on the inside. If I don’t survive, he will give you this journal. He told me about this. They’re working for Drak. The Donnas are the reaper, she is the vessel. Xenocide is imminent.

**************************
I closed the journal.
“Dans, Ran?”
“Yeah?” Dans asked.
“We need to go. Now”
“I’ll call the ship.” she replied.
“NO, DON’T! Drak is the one who caused all this. If she finds us, we’re dead. We need to hide.” I looked down at Ran. “Ran. Ran, are you listening?” No response. I looked down again. Ran dropped to the ground. Drak stood behind him, phaser in hand.
“Well I’ll be…” Drak muttered.
“RUN!” Dans yelled.
We sprinted away, turning at the nearest corner. A single bullet whizzed past my head.
“We need to split up.” Dans said. “Meet me in the dumpster.” She pointed ahead.
I dashed to the right. She swiveled left. I ran straight ahead, not looking back. After running for a while, I turned around. It seemed that I had lost her. I ran back towards the dumpster and dove inside. I waited for an hour. Dans never showed.
Oh the irony, I thought. And if only I could find an ansible to submit this entry… I pulled out a pen and began to write in the journal.

Jorky’s Entries
March 14th, 2015
Earth is a desolate, post-apocalyptic planet. Our first scout, Porky, has died. So has Ran. I do not know what has happened to Dans. Drak has turned on us and has committed xenocide for unknown reasons. I plan to investigate. Do not come to Earth, no matter what. I repeat, do not come.
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Old 07-14-2013, 04:30 AM
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I put both of ya, tail21 n ace, stories on my Kindle and will read them later....and then I will hail down critics like I always do XD

[EDIT]
sooo, tail21, it seems more like an intro to something. and you wrote the name daniel like 4 times in the beginning. That felt like a childrens book...and then I remembered you're 10. Also, while not intentional I think, you posted your short twice. which kinda threw me off.

ace, ya started out nice and then I had the feeling the alien had a USA trip rather than an earth scouting tour. The last part i liked because I thought it was going somewhere but then it was over.


where is snail? he once posted 3 or 4 shorts I really liked.
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Last edited by KamisoriX; 07-14-2013 at 06:49 AM.
Old 07-14-2013, 08:21 AM
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Chapter 1


"Mercy! Mercy!!!" yelled Yuki.

"Yes! Two in a row!" said the elated Jin.

Yuki and Jin where playing Mercy on Jin's back porch. Jin was 11, had aqua blue eyes and jet black hair. His hair was combed back nicely, because his mother combs it every morning. He was wearing his usual clothes, his navy blue basketball shorts and a black 8-ball tee-shirt. He had black socks under his blue sneakers. He was strong, good-hearted, and smart. Yuki was 10, and had flaming red hair. He had freckles, green eyes, and messy morning hair. He was wearing his usual clothes aswell, a red and white tee-shirt saying "HHA homes" and orange soccer shorts with ankle-length white socks under his white sneakers. He was passionate, faithful, and quick to motion. He had ADHD

They both lived in Chikodachi, a small village in Japan, just south Kyoto, the second biggest city in Japan, right behind Tokyo. They had been friends ever since Yuki had moved in from Yakazuki, a rather large village from Okinawa. They both went to the same school and live a house down from each other.

They were just done playing mercy, and went inside Jin's house to get a snack. When they went back outside, Jin's father had pulled up from work and walked inside. Jin hugged his father, and gave him one of his gummy bears. Then, they both came out and started to go down to the local park.

Now, parks in Chikodachi are MUCH different then they are in America or Europe. In parks, they sparred with others in a friendly competition. Jin and Yuki walked to their lockers and took out their Gi's. Yuki's was Orange and Red with white strips on the sides, and Jin's was blue with black strips. When they walked over to the arena, they saw their friend Chugi fight another kid. The opponent swung hi and Chugi did his famous sweep spin and won. Everyone cheered for Chugi as he walked to greet his friends.

Chugi was tan with a green topet, and pitch black eyes. he was 12, and had a mole on his lower right cheek.

"Chugi! What's up?" Yuki asked.

"Good. You?" answered Chugi.

"Great, thanks for asking!" replied Yuki.

"And now, Yuki and Makato please make their way to the ring," Boomed the voice on the speaker. These two will make a wild match.

"Well, gotta go. Wish me luck!" said Yuki.

"Your gonna need it," said Jin, "Your fighting Makato, remember.

"Oh yeah..." said the inflated Yuki.

Before ya know it he was in ready position, ready to fight.

"3, 2, 1, GO!"

End of chapter one. Chapter 2 2morrow.

Note: Jin means compasion and Yuki means valor in JPN.

And Chugi means honor and Makato means truth.
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Old 07-14-2013, 09:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KamisoriX View Post
I put both of ya, tail21 n ace, stories on my Kindle and will read them later....and then I will hail down critics like I always do XD

[EDIT]
sooo, tail21, it seems more like an intro to something. and you wrote the name daniel like 4 times in the beginning. That felt like a childrens book...and then I remembered you're 10. Also, while not intentional I think, you posted your short twice. which kinda threw me off.

ace, ya started out nice and then I had the feeling the alien had a USA trip rather than an earth scouting tour. The last part i liked because I thought it was going somewhere but then it was over.


where is snail? he once posted 3 or 4 shorts I really liked.
Thank you. Towards the end, I was rushing the ending; I really needed to finish the assignment. I wasn't really intending on using it for anything other than school purposes, so pacing and consistency weren't in mind.
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Old 07-14-2013, 10:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KamisoriX View Post
I put both of ya, tail21 n ace, stories on my Kindle and will read them later....and then I will hail down critics like I always do XD

[EDIT]
sooo, tail21, it seems more like an intro to something. and you wrote the name daniel like 4 times in the beginning. That felt like a childrens book...and then I remembered you're 10. Also, while not intentional I think, you posted your short twice. which kinda threw me off.

ace, ya started out nice and then I had the feeling the alien had a USA trip rather than an earth scouting tour. The last part i liked because I thought it was going somewhere but then it was over.


where is snail? he once posted 3 or 4 shorts I really liked.
hey, I read the highest in all my grade in 3rd. I read up to 8th grade reading level! I wish i had the proof, though.
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Old 07-14-2013, 10:45 PM
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well, it's a good thing. and you'll improve as you keep going. just remember: you will never be able to please everybody and nor should you try XD
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Old 07-15-2013, 04:05 AM
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Oh trust me i learned that lesson in 2nd grade.Haunts me everyday *shivers*
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Old 07-15-2013, 04:45 AM
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the good thing with me is I do things for myself to kill time and pretending to be productive. So I never cared for other peoples opinion.

sooo...where are the txt files of ya books?
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If the earth would be a sphere and not a disc, I wouldn't be so afraid to fall of the edge......
Old 07-15-2013, 04:54 AM
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Attached the .txt file. Are you sure you want this? I highly doubt I'll expand on it or anything. If I did, it would much more likely for me to take the story, flesh it out, add some depth, etc.
Nothing to see here...
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Old 07-15-2013, 05:00 AM
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I was talking about the 4 books by tail21. all the stuff that is posted here I already made them into txt files since i can't read for long on a monitor.
soo...unless ya got something new that ya havn't posted yet I'm still waiting for new stuff to add to my kindle XD
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Old 07-15-2013, 05:04 AM
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Wha-what .txt files?
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Old 07-15-2013, 05:06 AM
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lol, I already dled it. I thought it might be a longer version or another episode or whatever but it was the same as you posted already. go write something, you little poet.
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Old 07-15-2013, 05:09 AM
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Eh, okay. I can upload a couple of scenes from a script tomorrow. It's about on par with the other one. My friend got very bored with his summer and decided to make a movie. He enlisted me as the script writer. We aren't sure what exact tone/direction to take the movie in, so the tone goes from one extreme to the other in an instant.
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Old 07-15-2013, 05:41 AM
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lol, well, make sure ya upload the movie for us to see
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If the earth would be a sphere and not a disc, I wouldn't be so afraid to fall of the edge......
Old 07-16-2013, 01:03 AM
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Idk how to do that either, lol, but i can copy the words of the books sometime this week lol.
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Old 07-16-2013, 01:24 AM
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Gosh... I just realized how horrid the commentary was on my short story.
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Old 07-16-2013, 01:44 AM
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lol, live and learn baby
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If the earth would be a sphere and not a disc, I wouldn't be so afraid to fall of the edge......
Old 07-16-2013, 03:30 AM
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Ok heres Chapter 2: The ground fell.Leaving Daniel alone, on a stepping stone.His eyes were wide with terror.Then, he relized his mom and sister were no where to be seen.Haily?! Mom?! No one answered. He called one more time, MOM?! HAILY?! Still no answer.Daniel looked down. Then his eyes opened wide with terror.Below him was a stepping stone, and never-ending darkness.Daniel fell to his knees and sobbed.They fell. He thought. Im never going to see them again. After about 30 minutes of sobbing, screaming, and pounding, he relized everyone else around him was screaming, running, or dieing.Buildings were falling, people were going crazy! Daniel got up, and leaped to the other stepping stone. 3 more to go. So he leapec to the next stepping stone, he almost lost his balance, but he managed to regain it. He leaped to the next one, easily. He was on the last one. He was pretty far from solid ground. If he din‛t make it, he would fall into never-ending darkness. So Daniel took a deep breath, and leaped. END OF CHAPTER 2, chapter 3 tomorrow.
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Old 07-16-2013, 04:27 AM
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much better than chap 1. If you ever make money with ya wrting I will send ya a tutoring fee XD
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Old 07-16-2013, 04:46 AM
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Here's a story!

So this squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store nuts for the winter! Now I'm dead!"


Just kidding. That was actually not my story.

So this kid walks up to this guy and says: "Hello is this elmo?" The guy says: "NO THIS IS NOT ELMO!!! GET OUT!!!" So the kid walks down the sidewalk to a Kmart and says "Are you Elmo?" The clerk says "Nope its just Chuck Testa".
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Old 07-16-2013, 09:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KamisoriX View Post
much better than chap 1. If you ever make money with ya wrting I will send ya a tutoring fee XD
Thanks, i have a passion for reading and writing
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Old 07-16-2013, 02:45 PM
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Why not Zoidberg?
 
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Originally Posted by Rosetail21 View Post
Idk how to do that either, lol, but i can copy the words of the books sometime this week lol.
Just paste your stories into a word processor program. (such as Microsoft Word) Once you are happy with the way your story is, select "Save as". Find a location to save it, and then go down to "file type". There should be an option for ".txt". Select it, and then start writing your post for this thread. Select "Go Advanced", and then "Manage Attachments". A new window should pop up. Select "Browse", find your file with the book, double-click it, and then post your post.

If you did this correctly, you should have attached a .txt file of your story for Kami to read on a Kindle.
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Old 07-16-2013, 05:22 PM
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She stared at the blank white page, her mind numb, unable to comprehend the prior events, let alone scribble them down, in hope of leaving a message to those that would be left behind. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek and fell on to the paper leaving a grey, damp place. Inspiration struck her, maybe her tears would be the message, maybe the salty sting in her eyes would bring enough hope for the rest to carry on.

She held the paper to her chin and let the tears, which were now a constant stream of guilt and anger, soak into the page. She looked again and could swear she saw words forming out of the salty ink. "They deserved it." The phrase made her heart beat faster, her skin flushed and the not so distant memory of her hands dripping with crimson blood filled her mind.

To be continued..... let me know if u like it.
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Old 07-16-2013, 06:10 PM
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I don't know what's going on. Although, I guess it will clear up as you continue. Fantastic introduction, besides a nitpick or two. I would love to read your next chapter, or part... thing.
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Old 07-16-2013, 07:20 PM
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Part or thing 2..lol

It was a dreary november morning, much like how every fall morning was on the west coast, the air was cool and misty, Abagails favorite kind of weather. She peered out the small window that she was lucky enough to have in her office cubicle and day dreamed about walking on the beach, the cool, misty air kissing her skin.

"Abby!" The voice came from her editor and it startled her, causing her to involuntarily jerk spilled her hot coffee onto her white blouse.
"Yes, mr. Gibb". She said wincing as the hot coffee began to seep through her bloyse and sting her chest.
"Is that report on the playground ewuipment done yet?" His tone was less than civil and abagail searched her mind for an excuse as to why the report was not yet completed.
"Ummm, close but not quite." She murmured.
Mr. Gibb took a look at her work space, taking note of the garbage on the floor andnow the spilled coffee on het blouse and desk. "You know if you put half as much effort into your work as you do writing that fairytale crap you might actually be a decent reporter."
"Its not crap". She breathed hoping the large man wouldnt hear.
"Just get it done!" Then he turned to leave.
Abagail then started to clean up the spilled coffee and dabbed at her bouse with a hand wipe. "Its not crap" she thought "its just unique, someday people will understand what i am trying to say. Just then another picture flashed into her mind, a picture of 5 children holding hands in a circle dancing around a fresh corpse, singing a song that she didnt know but with an excitement that she longed for...raw tick tick on a dead mans back, raw tick tick and he stares right back, raw tick tick and we dance on his bones, raw tick tick until we're home.

Added after 3 minutes:

Please excuse the poor spelling and punctuation, i am makjng this up as i go and writting on my small tablet is more than jut a small challenge
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Old 07-17-2013, 01:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acetrainerbob View Post
Just paste your stories into a word processor program. (such as Microsoft Word) Once you are happy with the way your story is, select "Save as". Find a location to save it, and then go down to "file type". There should be an option for ".txt". Select it, and then start writing your post for this thread. Select "Go Advanced", and then "Manage Attachments". A new window should pop up. Select "Browse", find your file with the book, double-click it, and then post your post.

If you did this correctly, you should have attached a .txt file of your story for Kami to read on a Kindle.
I only got half of that.But i think i know what to do now.Yeah ik, i just need to do this on my computer, not my nintendo lol.

Added after 37 minutes:

Ok, heres Chapter 3.He leaped, but slipped, he grabbed hold onto a rock sticking out of the ground, and pulled himself up.Daniel looked down one more time, one last tear going down his cheek.“That should have been me”.Daniel looked at the city.A man was lying on the floor, motionless, and a small child, was running for his life.Suddenly, out in the distance, there was a explosion.Then another, and another.Daniel started running, faster, faster, faster, till he couldn't even breathe.Then he heard a whisper.Psst, over here.Daniel turned around, to see a boy around his age, and a girl about 2 years older then him.Over here! Said the boy.Daniel ran to them, and hid with them.“Who are you guys?”He said.“m Lynzee, and this is my brother, Dominic”.“Hi”, said Dominic.“Who are YOU?”Im Daniel.Im 13 years old.Im 12.Said Dominic.14.Mumbled Lynzee.Do you guys know whats going on?
No.
Wheres your parents?
They got crushed by a building.Dominic said sadly.Suddenly, they heard a sound. Daniel looked from behind the trash-can and saw a person.Before he could speak, Lynzee covered his mouth.He turned to her with a questioned look on his face.She only stared at the person.He was sniffing as if he smelled something.Then, then the person ran away.Daniel whispered, what was that for?!Ive seen people like him.Said Lynzee.They bite others, and then the person they bite, acts like their biter.Its like they have rabies or something.Daniel was weirded out.But suddenly, he saw a tv on in a window.He peeked in and it was on the news.He strained his ears so he could hear, and this is what he heard:Rabies is spreading all over the globe.If you dont have the virus, we recommend you go to the abandoned military base in Hollywood.Thank you.End of Part 1. Starting on Part 2 tomorrow.It will be called:The Spread

Ok, heres Chapter 3.He leaped, but slipped, he grabbed hold onto a rock sticking out of the ground, and pulled himself up.Daniel looked down one more time, one last tear going down his cheek.?That should have been me?.Daniel looked at the city.A man was lying on the floor, motionless, and a small child, was running for his life.Suddenly, out in the distance, there was a explosion.Then another, and another.Daniel started running, faster, faster, faster, till he couldn't even breathe.Then he heard a whisper.Psst, over here.Daniel turned around, to see a boy around his age, and a girl about 2 years older then him.Over here! Said the boy.Daniel ran to them, and hid with them.?Who are you guys??He said.?m Lynzee, and this is my brother, Dominic?.?Hi?, said Dominic.?Who are YOU??Im Daniel.Im 13 years old.Im 12.Said Dominic.14.Mumbled Lynzee.Do you guys know whats going on?
No.
Wheres your parents?
They got crushed by a building.Dominic said sadly.Suddenly, they heard a sound. Daniel looked from behind the trash-can and saw a person.Before he could speak, Lynzee covered his mouth.He turned to her with a questioned look on his face.She only stared at the person.He was sniffing as if he smelled something.Then, then the person ran away.Daniel whispered, what was that for?!Ive seen people like him.Said Lynzee.They bite others, and then the person they bite, acts like their biter.Its like they have rabies or something.Daniel was weirded out.But suddenly, he saw a tv on in a window.He peeked in and it was on the news.He strained his ears so he could hear, and this is what he heard:Rabies is spreading all over the globe.If you dont have the virus, we recommend you go to the abandoned military base in Hollywood.Thank you.End of Part 1. Starting on Part 2 tomorrow.It will be called:The Spread

Added after 2 minutes:

ugh sry about the 2 story thing.
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Old 07-17-2013, 03:42 AM
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but why do you paste it twice?
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Old 07-17-2013, 07:01 AM
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but why do you paste it twice?
something must be wrong.
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Old 07-17-2013, 07:40 AM
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still waiting for snail to post some stuff...
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Old 07-17-2013, 08:21 AM
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Lol.Maybe she cant think of anything right now.
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Old 07-17-2013, 08:55 AM
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i thought snail is a he....
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Old 07-17-2013, 02:10 PM
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Why not Zoidberg?
 
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Originally Posted by KamisoriX View Post
I put both of ya, tail21 n ace, stories on my Kindle and will read them later....and then I will hail down critics like I always do XD

[EDIT]
sooo, tail21, it seems more like an intro to something. and you wrote the name daniel like 4 times in the beginning. That felt like a childrens book...and then I remembered you're 10. Also, while not intentional I think, you posted your short twice. which kinda threw me off.

ace, ya started out nice and then I had the feeling the alien had a USA trip rather than an earth scouting tour. The last part i liked because I thought it was going somewhere but then it was over.


where is snail? he once posted 3 or 4 shorts I really liked.
Oh, whoops. Forgot to reply to this.

The assignment was to journal entries for a 50 mile expedition a la Lewis and Clark. Since I live in the US, Porky toured the US. I probably should've added in an anotation stating that they had scouts posted in different countries.
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Old 07-20-2013, 08:51 AM
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so, why are there no new entries?
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Old 07-20-2013, 02:57 PM
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Well, Rosetail hasn't been on for three days and I'm kind of lazy. (and I don't have much time to write) No one else has decided to post their stuff here either. Gecko? Snail? Are you two still here?
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Old 07-20-2013, 03:27 PM
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I shall brighten up this thread. I'm not much of a storyteller, but here goes.

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End!

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Old 07-20-2013, 04:46 PM
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I shall brighten up this thread. I'm not much of a storyteller, but here goes.

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End!

Dat was dur best story evar.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
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Old 07-20-2013, 08:49 PM
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hmm. what happened to tails?
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Old 07-20-2013, 09:02 PM
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This is about writing a story eh?
Well I've actually got one, BUT it's not finished and it has been suspended due to me not having time to write it.
If you want to check it, go to the link in my Signature, "The Court Is Now In Session".
It's actually an interactive story, a forum game I made.
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Old 07-21-2013, 06:44 AM
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hmm, i wonder if tail got kidnapped by internet pirates.
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